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Frequently
Asked Questions for Birth Parents
Can
I really do this?
What
about my medical costs and other expenses?
Who
do I call and what can I expect from my call?
What
is an open adoption?
What
if no one wants my baby?
Who
are the adoptive families?
What
about the birth father?
How
do I give up the baby?
Will
the adoptive parents keep in touch?
What
happens next?
Can
I really do this?
It might be hard to imagine that you could love your baby for nine
months and then let him or her be raised by someone else, but hundreds
of brave women do it every year. It's not an easy decision, but
it is a responsible and courageous act of love. Many of our birth
mothers chose adoption because they wanted to give their babies
opportunities that they couldn't provide themselves. If you decide
that adoption is the best choice for your child, you will be able
to do it. While there will be feelings of sadness and loss, there
will also be feelings of joy, awe, and pride in what your have done
for your child.
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What
about my medical costs and other expenses?
Adoption Advocates, Inc. can assist you with counseling, medical,
legal, and living expenses during and after your pregnancy. When
you speak to your adoption counselor, she will help you figure out
exactly what kind of assistance you need. Assistance varies from
case to case, and is based on your specific needs.*
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Who
do I call and what can I expect from my call?
When you call AAI at 1-800-966-HOPE, you can expect to talk
confidentially with an experienced person who understands what you're
going through, who listens to you, and who can answer your questions.
Our counselors are open minded, and we can help you understand all
of your options, not just adoption. We can give you the facts and
information you need to plan your child's future.
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What
is an open adoption?
On a practical level, an open adoption means that you get to choose
the adoptive parents, and you can choose to maintain some degree
of contact with them. In an open adoption, you will always be honored
as the child's birth parent, because that's who you are.
About
half of our placements are fully disclosed adoptions. This means
that the birth parents and adoptive parents decided to exchange
names, addresses, and phone numbers. This is left entirely up to
the adoptive parents and the birth parents. In almost all adoption
plans, the adoptive parents provide pictures and letters and exchange
phone calls with birth parents. Depending on the relationship that
develops between you and your adoptive parents, sometimes there
is visitation. In adoptions that are not fully disclosed, AAI serves
as the "middle man" to arrange future meetings and exchange letters.
The
most important thing to remember is that an open adoption is what
the participants jointly decide that it should be.
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What
if no one wants my baby?
There is a loving adoptive family for every child. There may be
factors about your pregnancy that might make for a more difficult
placement, but don't worry. AAI has experience in dealing with all
kinds of issues. There is a family for your baby.
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Who
are the adoptive families?
The adoptive families are caring people who want a child more than
anything in the world. If you chose to have an open adoption with
AAI, you will be the one who picks the family who will adopt your
baby. Our adoptive families come from all walks of life, but they
have several things in common:
- a commitment
to provide love, honesty, and respect to you and your child
- admiration
for your strength and courage
- recognition
of how difficult this time is for you
- a commitment
to honor the biological bond between the child and his or her
birth parents
- education
and preparation for adoptive parenthood
- acceptance
only after AAI's extensive inquiry, application, and home study
are approved
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What
about the birth father?
Each situation is unique, legally and emotionally. When you call
AAI, the caseworker will help you figure out the particulars of
your case. The birth father has some rights in relation to the child,
and AAI is happy to provide him with free counseling or support
to help him through this difficult time. But, if your relationship
with him is not friendly, don't worry. AAI can handle all communications
with the birth father so you don't have to.
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How
do I give up the baby?
Here at AAI, the birth mother chooses the time, place, and date
for relinquishment. State law requires that you wait at least 48
hours after the baby is born, and you will be the one to decide
how the relinquishment will take place.
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Will
the adoptive parents keep in touch?
Parents who adopt from AAI are educated to respect the special bond
between the child and the birth mother. By knowing you and receiving
information from you, they can raise the child with the truth inherent
in his or her beginnings. Although there is no legal guarantee that
the adoptive parents will keep in touch, chances are that you will
choose a family who you like and trust, and they will be committed
to honoring their agreement with you.
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What
happens next?
When you call us at 1-800-966-HOPE, you'll have your own
counselor assigned to help you. She'll be available to you on the
phone or in person. Your personal counselor isn't going to tell
you what to do or push you in any direction. She's not going to
make any decisions for you. She will give you the information and
advice you need to make the choices that are right for you, every
step of the way. She can send you an information packet so that
your emotional and financial needs can be assessed and you can receive
assistance if you want it.* Ultimately, if you decide on an adoption
plan for your child, your counselor will help you complete paperwork
and choose your adoptive parents.
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*State
Law Regarding Financial Assistance to Birthparents Vary From State
to State.
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