An open adoption story – 4 years in…

Written by one of our adoptive families (June 2016) – an open adoption update:

It was almost exactly 4 years ago that we got the call… June 25th, 2012.  The call that changed our lives forever:  we would become parents 8 weeks later to twin girls.

We are 4 years into this amazing open adoption story and I cannot believe it’s been that long already.  We haven’t seen our birth mother in about 9 months due to a long distance move she made, and when she walked into the restaurant recently, I had to hold back tears.  It happens every time we get to see her – that overwhelming flood of emotion.  Love, adoration, gratitude, respect, and sincere connection to her heart and spirit.

A* is my hero.  Our hero.  The one who, along with the support of her husband, helped my dream of becoming a mommy come true in a more perfect way than I could have ever imagined possible.  Our beautiful twin girls are now almost 4 years old and they are beginning to understand their story.  We help them, give them the words, and guide their questions and comments to a deeper understanding of how they came to be forever ours and the special connection they have to A*.  When they are asked, “Who’s tummy did you grow in?” they proudly and excitedly say her name with huge smiles.  When asked about the day they were born, they will explain to you who was in the room and especially love to tell the part about how we were right there to hold them as soon as they were born.  Recently, one of my daughters was looking at a photo of her birth sisters and looked up at me with the sweetest smile and said “Hey Mommy!  My eyes look like theirs!”  She was proud of her physical resemblance to her birth family and I could tell it enabled her with the process of putting the puzzle pieces of her adoption story together.  Though the twins look like they could have been ours genetically, we don’t emphasize that aspect.  We choose instead to highlight how many features of theirs look like their birth family.

Every time I get to see the twins interact with A*, my heart feels like it’s going to burst.  There is pure love between them, and I am so incredibly grateful that they have each other.  It’s the most beautiful and rewarding thing to witness the relationship my kids have with her. We FaceTime with them regular regularly.  On a recent visit, the girls decided to make some art for her, demanding that she “hang it on her fridge” as they gifted it to her.  Our family is so fortunate to have this loving relationship with the girls’ birth family – one that is rooted in openness and trust.

As adoptive parents we will strive to help the girls to write their story in a way that is nurturing to their hearts and fosters a sense of wholeness, connection and feeling of being deeply loved by so many people.  My wish for them as they grow is to fully embrace and claim their truth: that they are chosen, incredibly special and unconditionally loved.

By | 2017-11-02T12:52:13+00:00 June 21st, 2016|Categories: Adoptive Family Stories, For Adoptive Parents|0 Comments

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