When a client is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and feels overwhelmed by life circumstances, adoption may surface as an option. And while adoption can be a loving and ethical choice, it is also a permanent one—meant for those who feel deeply that they are not in a position to parent now or in the future.
But what if the obstacles are temporary? What if the client wants to parent but feels like they can’t?
As social workers, you play a crucial role in making sure your clients understand all of their options, not just the most immediate or emotionally-charged ones. This includes helping them build a parenting plan and connecting them to resources that can make parenting feel more possible.
A Gentle Reminder: Adoption Isn’t a Fix for Hardship
Before we dive into solutions, it’s important to acknowledge a hard truth: almost all clients consider adoption not because they want to place their child, but because they believe they don’t have the support, resources, or stability to raise one.
When counseling expectant parents, your role is not to steer them toward any particular decision. It’s to listen, educate, and support. That includes helping them explore whether parenting could be realistic with the right help.
Permanent decisions should only be made when there is clarity, not crisis.
Step 1: Ask Open-Ended, Nonjudgmental Questions
Start by understanding what barriers your client is facing:
- What are your biggest concerns about parenting right now?
- Do you have any support from family, friends, or a partner?
- If you had stable housing/childcare/income/etc., would you want to parent?
- What would you need to feel more confident in parenting?
Often, just giving clients space to answer these questions can uncover not only what’s missing, but what’s possible.
Step 2: Explore Temporary Options Before Permanent Ones
If a client is facing a crisis or short-term instability, here are options worth discussing before exploring adoption:
Temporary Caregiving Plans
- Kinship Care: A relative temporarily caring for the child while the parent gets back on their feet.
- Short-Term Guardianship: Allows a trusted adult to make decisions for the child temporarily without terminating parental rights.
- Respite or Crisis Nurseries: Programs like Safe Families for Children offer short-term childcare during emergencies or instability.
Parenting Support Programs
- Parenting classes tailored to young or first-time parents
- Case management programs for pregnant or parenting teens
- Support groups for single parents or those overcoming trauma or substance use
Adoption is forever—these options are not. Empowering a client to delay a permanent decision gives them the chance to regroup and reevaluate in a few weeks or months.
Step 3: Connect Them to Tangible Resources
Finances – or lack of them – is the most common concern women have when they reach out to us. Many clients are unaware of the support systems available to them or have trouble navigating the process. Having a go-to list of local resources (and knowing how they work) can make all the difference.
Basic Needs Assistance
- WIC – Nutritional support for pregnant people and young children
- SNAP/TANF – Financial and food assistance
- Texas Medicaid for Pregnant Women – Covers prenatal care and delivery
- CHIP Perinatal for baby’s health care needs
- Local food banks and clothing closets
- Baby supplies, from car seats to diapers
Housing & Safety
- Maternity homes or transitional housing programs
- Domestic violence shelters
- Rent and utility assistance programs
Childcare & Education
- Early Head Start
- Childcare subsidies through Texas Workforce Commission
- School programs for parenting students
Mental Health & Substance Use Support
- Postpartum support groups
- MotherToBaby.org – Evidence-based info on medication and substance use in pregnancy
- SAMHSA’s Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP for behavioral health resources
We recommend keeping a printed or digital directory of options you can hand out or text to clients when needed. Findhelp.org is also a great resource for researching and connecting with local organizations.
Adoption Advocates also has unplanned pregnancy resource lists for many Texas cities. (Have a resource we should add? Let us know!)
Step 4: Help Them Create a Parenting Plan
Once your client has the resources, help them take the next step: making a parenting plan. This doesn’t need to be formal or perfect—it’s just a way to build confidence and get practical.
You might ask:
- Where will you live with the baby?
- Who can help with caregiving or emergencies?
- How will you manage income or benefits in the short term?
- What childcare options exist if you’re working or in school?
Writing things down or mapping them out visually can help turn abstract fears into concrete next steps.
Adoption Advocates works with our clients to create a parenting plan so our clients can clearly see both options. You can download our Parenting Plan Worksheet here to use with your own clients.
In Summary: Meet Them Where They Are
The decision to parent or place a baby for adoption is never easy. But when an expectant parent is motivated by fear, instability, or lack of support, our job is to help slow the process down. To shine a light on what’s available. To remind them that they are not alone and that permanent decisions should only be made when there is clarity, not crisis.
At Adoption Advocates, we fully support parenting when it’s desired and in the child’s best interest. If adoption becomes the right choice later, we’ll still be here. But we never want someone to choose it simply because they didn’t feel like parenting could be an option.
Let’s work together to support families—not just in crisis, but toward stability.
