When a patient shares that they are unsure about what decision to make during a pregnancy, their health care professionals are often the first people they turn to for support.
This uncertainty may show up in many ways:
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“I’m not sure adoption is the right choice.”
“I feel like I have no good options.”
“What if I regret my decision?”
These conversations can be challenging because patients may be experiencing a mix of emotions, including fear, grief, stress, hope, or pressure from others. The most helpful response is not to help them choose, but to help them feel supported while they explore their options.
Create Space Without Judgment
A patient who is unsure does not need someone to convince them of a particular path. They need a safe space where they can talk openly, without fear of judgment or pressure.
Helpful questions might include:
- What feels like the hardest part of this decision?
- What options have you been thinking about?
- What support would make things feel more manageable?
- What would you want your future to look like?
Open-ended questions can help patients identify their own needs, values, and concerns.
Sometimes the most meaningful support is simply helping someone know they do not have to face the decision alone.
Recognize That Adoption Is a Process, Not a Single Moment
For some patients, adoption may be something they consider throughout pregnancy. Others wait until labor or even after delivery. Both may decide they want to parent, but need help identifying resources and support.
It is important to remember that considering adoption does not mean a patient is committed to moving forward. They will not make a final decision until at least 48 hours after delivery. Expectant parents need time, accurate information, and compassionate counseling before making this choice.
Avoid Common Misconceptions
Sometimes patients feel unsure because they have incomplete or inaccurate information about adoption.
They may wonder:
“Will I have any say in choosing an adoptive family?”
“Will I ever be able to see my child again”?
“Does adoption cost money”?
“Will people think I don’t love my baby?”
“When can I change my mind?”
Providing factual information and connecting patients with ethical adoption professionals can help them better understand their options.
Support the Patient’s Autonomy
The role of health care and social work professionals is not to decide what a patient should do. It is to ensure they have access to unbiased information, emotional support, and appropriate resources. It is important to not impart your values on their decision. They are the ones that will live with it, not you.
When patients feel respected and heard, they are empowered to make decisions that align with their own circumstances and values.
Supporting someone through an uncertain decision does not mean having all the answers. Sometimes the most meaningful support is simply helping someone know they do not have to face the decision alone.
