If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re feeling a lot right now. Maybe you just found out you’re pregnant. Maybe you’re further along and still not sure what you want to do. Either way, take a deep breath, you’re not alone.
An unexpected pregnancy can bring up a flood of emotions and reactions. Totally overwhelmed, scared, crying at random moments (and not just because of hormones), trying to Google your way through the biggest decision of your life. There is usually a lot to consider and it can be a lot.
This post isn’t here to pressure you or tell you what to do. It’s just some things that have helped other moms survive the chaos when everything felt like too much.
1. Let Yourself Feel All the Things
Sad. Relieved. Guilty. Confused. Angry. Numb. All of it. There’s no “right” way to feel about an unplanned pregnancy – especially if you’re thinking about placing your baby for adoption. Maybe you think you should feel one way or another, but honestly? Emotions don’t follow rules. They just show up.
So feel it all. Cry in the car. Journal your heart out. Rage-text your BFF. Then breathe. You’re still doing your best.
2. Talk to Someone Who Gets It
Talking can be super helpful, but it’s got to be the right person. You need someone who won’t judge you or hit you with the “Well if I were you…” lines. What helps a lot of women is finding someone who has actually been through this—another birth mom or a counselor who works specifically with women in your situation.
If you don’t know anyone like that in real life, look online. Reddit subs, TikTok accounts – there are a lot of voices and experiences out there. If you’d rather have an actual conversation, a lot of adoption agencies (like Adoption Advocates) offer free, no-pressure counseling. Seriously, free. No strings attached. No judgment. And it’s confidential. You don’t have to commit to adoption just to talk.
3. Brain-Dump Everything
Making lists can work wonders. Start writing stuff down: fears, questions, things I needed to figure out, pros and cons of my options. Even random thoughts like “Do I want to find out the sex of the baby before birth” or “How would open adoption work for me?”
There’s something about dumping your thoughts out that makes them feel way more manageable. Try it.
4. Distract Yourself When You Need To
Look, thinking about your unexpected pregnancy 24/7 will drive you bananas. Sometimes you just need to take a break from the deep thoughts and cry sessions. Watch some trash TV. Listen to whatever music drowns out the noise in your head. Go for a long walk and breathe the fresh air. Take a yoga class and give your mind a breather.
Taking a break doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means your brain needs space to function.
You're not weak. You're not broken. You're just human, doing your best in a hard situation.
5. Say No to People Who Stress You Out
Your peace is more important than other people’s opinions.
Whether it’s a parent, your baby’s dad, or even a friend—if someone’s energy is making things worse, you’re allowed to hit pause. You’re allowed to ignore texts. You’re allowed to say “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Protect your space. You’re going through something massive.
6. Remind Yourself: You’re Not a Bad Person
This one’s big. A lot of women feel so much guilt for even considering options other than parenting. But here’s what we know:
You're not weak. You're not broken. You're just human, doing your best in a hard situation. You can only make a well-balanced decision if you’ve thought through all the options and ruled them out.
One Last Thing
Pregnancy is hard. An unexpected pregnancy, even more so. For anyone out there quietly struggling, just know that what you’re feeling is valid. You don’t have to figure everything out today. And you don’t have to do it alone.
If you need help, Adoption Advocates is here for you. Call us at (512) 477-1122 or text (512) 270-8415 when you’re ready.
